Sharing my heart (again) for 'older' Russian orphans

Earlier today I posted THESE PHOTOS at our adoption blog, and the following on my facebook account:

'Older' Russian orphans currently visiting...

This is the first 'Note' I've posted on facebook--I normally just allow my blog feed to post here cause I'm not a particularly good or prolific writer. :-)

But, because Russian orphans are VERY 'near and dear' to my heart I want to do what I can to spread the word, and URGE Christian couples/families to seriously consider meeting this group of 14 'older' Russian orphans while they are visiting the Tulsa/Oklahoma area until Jan. 18 (that's this Sunday!). Meeting one or more of these children in NO way obligates you to adopt, but you will come away with a better understanding and greater compassion that God can and will use for His glory!

These children (ages 8-14) are here through a "hosting program" which places each child with a host family for the 10 days they will be here. They get to enjoy lots of time with those families as well as group activities and events with the other orphans.

As far as 'hosting programs' go, I've been VERY impressed with what I've seen and heard so far. Primarily because this host program is sort of 'partnering' with local churches and is focused on showing these children the love of Christ and sharing the Gospel with them. Imagine the impact this makes on a child in contrast to the minimal opportunity for such love and grace in the orphanage setting.

Last night Nina and I attended the "Russian Culture" program the children put on at a local church. We got to hear the kids sing (in Russian!!!), answer some simple questions about their favorite things/activities, their hopes for the future, and their time here.

As you can imagine, I 'know' Russian orphans pretty well--not just because of our girls, but because we spent 4 weeks in Russia visiting their orphanage and interacting with the other kids, we have friends and acquaintances who have adopted Russian orphans, and we actively seek out opportunities to meet and visit with Russian orphans during their visits here--we've seen and met many Russian orphans.

So, I was more than a little surprised--pleasantly--to read the bios. of the kids, see them interacting with one another, interacting my their host families, and interacting with my own little Russian who has forgotten much of her native language. These kids are VERY NORMAL--some enjoy school and some don't, some are musically talented some are not, some are shy and some are not, some care about being 'stylish' and some do not, some enjoy reading and some prefer being busy/active--NORMAL. :-)

Whether God has ordained for you the challenge and blessing of adopting, or the blessing of offering some level support, I URGE you to 'partner' with agencies and organizations who are seeking to honor God through their ministry to 'older' orphans.

To learn more about this and other host programs (in various states throughout the year) please feel free to contact me, or visit the "Lighthouse Project" website, www.lhproject.com, or the coordinator's blog at www.RussianOrphanLighthouseProject.blogspot.com

Al Mohler on "The Culture of the Congregation - Celebrating Adoption"

There's absolutely nothing I can or would add to this article/post by Al Mohler, except of course maybe a hearty "Amen"!

The Culture of the Congregation - Celebrating Adoption

"THE" phone call...

...came six years ago today! Read about it HERE.

Practicing Theology: no longer orphans

I just added a post to our adoption blog--I'm slowly 'filling in the blanks' telling the story of how God has built our family through adoption and what life has been like these past 5+ years.

As former orphans our girls were often subject to the 'whims' of their caregivers and/or the dictates of poverty. Consequently, when our girls both decided to grow out their hair (because they COULD) and donate it (because the WANTED to), we seized the expected and unexpected opportunities that brought for teaching and training! HERE'S a link to that post.

Family Movie Night

Tonight was "Family Movie Night", and I don't remember when I saw a movie that moved me as much as this one, bella.

Encouraging other adoptive parents

Raising 'older' foreign-born adopted children provides countless blessings along with many challenges.

If you are an adoptive parent of 'older' children, or know someone who is, I invite you to visit a new blog I have been invited to co-host, "Adoption 3:16"

It is our prayer and goal to encourage and comfort others with the same comfort we have received (2 Cor. 1:3-4) through His Word and through His saints!

Our Adoption Interview Posted At "From Hope to Reality"

Dan Cruver, Director of Ministry Outreach for Carolina Hope Christian Adoption Agency, recently asked to interview us on the subject of our adoptions.

Dan posted the interview today at their blog--you can read it HERE.

To God be ALL the glory--He has been so faithful and gracious to our little family!

New Pictures Added on Our Adoption Blog

In case you're interested, I've posted some more photos--mostly from the past--on our adoption blog.

The Stigma of Being an Orphan

(Side note: Having thought through, composed, and edited (numerous times) this post I can't help but see a parallel between human and spiritual adoption! Even with spiritual adoption other Christians may hold 'prejudices' against us because of our former life without God. Just thinking out loud here...)

Those who know me/us personally, know how cautious I/we have been with our daughters in relation to their exposure to and contact with native Russians. While many people--even close friends--initially may have thought this was odd or perhaps attributed it to the 'over-protectiveness' of first-time parents, we nevertheless have remained vigilant.

It hasn't been because we want to "assimilate" them or force them to forget their heritage--nothing could be further from the truth! As a matter of fact, we have surround ourselves with all things Russian, and I have frequently initiated conversations with Russians when my girls are in my company (I purposely choose the check-out lines of two Russian women in our local Wal-Mart!!).

No, our guardedness arose as we began to understand the Russian culture's disdain for and low opinion of orphans. We've explained these things to our daughters from very early on, which they had no problem understanding because they had already experienced it in Russia.

I recently had this matter driven home to me through an online newsletter I received from an American adoption agency (not the agency we used). The article below describes an outreach the agency has embarked on in Russia--an effort to acclimate Russian orphans to the "real" world through interaction with Russian children with parents (highlighted portions by me).

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Changing Perceptions
A summer camp experience changes society’s view of orphans and the orphans’ view of themselves…

In the Tomsk Region of Russia, much like the rest of the world, people don’t have a very high opinion of “orphans,” and parents don’t seek out opportunities for their children to spend time with an orphaned child. It is not the fault of orphans, but it is another misfortune that they have to bear in lives that have often been tragic since the very beginning.

The 2007 Hobby Activity is the third year of a blended summer camp that helps to bring orphans out of their isolation from society, and build awareness about their needs among the greater population. During two weeks this past August, orphaned children and children with parents came together to enjoy a very interesting lifestyle full of festivals and holidays, lectures and games, dances and songs. In the homelike, informal atmosphere, the children explored topics such as racism by meeting face-to-face with indigenous people from Siberia. They worked together to write and film videos that address the problems of modern youths – whether orphaned or not - and the resulting clips became powerful material for a ‘film festival’ of youth issues. The children staged “Photo Hunts” where they tried to “capture” the spirits of their friends in a still photo; they talked about stars; they designed and built real landscapes around the campground. These activities taught all of the children to work together, to be creative, and to trust in their own abilities. The children with families learned that they are not very different from the orphans.

Of course, many of the orphaned children struggle with darker, deeper issues: they are not perfect. There are some who have smoked, used alcohol, and even experimented with drugs and life on the street. But they are not lost forever, and through this camp we do our best to motivate them, to restore their self-esteem, to build their trust, and to teach them how to live an independent life in harmony with society.This year was the most successful yet. The previous two years of the camp – when some parents were alarmed by the thought of their children interacting with orphans – were not spent in vain. Now most families in the community are warm and accepting of children from government institutions, and there is a waiting list of families who want their children to participate next year. The greatest wish of almost every orphan, as you can well imagine, is to be a camper next year! This program has incredible potential to reach more children every year, as long as our resources continue to grow.The program works: when this year’s orphan campers returned to their institutions, almost every one of them said that much had changed in their hearts from this experience. Most importantly, they now understood why they needed to study: because life is many-sided, and they can make choices about their future.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

This not only confirms our understanding, but sheds some light on the surprise and intense interest I saw in a number of native Russians last week as they interacted with Olga through the local 'sister city' project. By God's grace, Olga was a shining example to people who may have previously held a very low opinion of orphans.

I have grown to care deeply for many of the native Russians with whom we have become acquainted--many care very much for our girls, teaching and encouraging them, and wishing them well. Still, I will remain vigilant to guard our daughters and train them regarding the various prejudices that remain in the eyes of some.

Pray for the orphans of the world, while it is true that God is the father of the fatherless (Ps. 68:5), these children often must live under the oppressive stigma assigned to them only because they have been orphaned here on earth.

Practicing Theology ~ Parenting Adopted Children

Because we are adoptive parents of older foreign-born children, our theology has been put to the test in ways that most parents would never imagine, much less consider! :-)

Take for instance the fact that our children came to us already equipped with a "worldview" of their own--survival at any and all cost. Their worldview was shaped and molded much like yours and mine, but theirs had an interesting twist--how does one respond to relentlessly being sinned against by people who are supposed to love, protect and care for you? READ THE REST HERE

God's Story of Adoption

Earlier this week I had the opportunity to listen to Dan Cruver's sermon on "God's Story of Adoption", and I was working on a post pointing others to that sermon.

But, as providence would have it, one of Dan's blog-mates, Josh, has posted an excellent overview of Dan's sermon, and a link--so I'll point you to that instead!

I do hope you'll take time to listen to Dan's sermon and be edified. Dan is doing an excellent job of bring God's Word to bear on the topic of adoption--spiritual and physical adoption!

Errr, ahhhhh, did I mention that building our family through "older child" adoption hasn't been easy?

...read my recent post on our adoption blog.

Adoption and the Gospel ~ Transracial Adoptions

UPDATE (10/11/07): It just occurred to me that my second paragraph may make it sound like we've completely missed or ignored the message that J.B. Watkins is making--supporting and facilitating "life/cultural" opportunities and experiences for our adopted children. Nothing could be further from the truth! The fact is, we "eat, sleep, walk, and talk " Russia every day with our girls, and have since the very beginning. Just wanted to make that matter a bit clearer! Carry on... :-)

How does/should the gospel impact our view, actions, and response to adoption? Dan Cruver has posted an interview with J.B. Watkins addressing this issue focusing on transracial adoptions.

In our own church (small congregation of about 120) adoption has become a very vital part of the gospel, with a total of seventeen children adopted domestically, internationally, cross-culturally, and interracially--by only seven families in the past eight years--to God be the glory!

In our own experience, adopting cross-culturally (Russia) had/has many challenges but over time the visible differences (language, culture, habits, preferences) tend to fade or disappear. Not so with transracial adoptions--how should the Church respond AND support these families as they live out and share the gospel before the world?

Christians, orphans, and adoption

Back in April I wrote THIS regarding the Christian's spiritual adoption. Later in August, I was surprised and encouraged to receive a comment to that post from Dan Cruver, Ministry Outreach Coordinator for Carolina Hope Christian Adoption Agency.

In Dan's comment, he said some things that I whole-heartedly agree with and hope more Christians will consider,

"...We are working hard to articulate the connection between spiritual and human adoption. We believe that the more people grow in their understanding of spiritual adoption the more they will consider extending the same kind of kindness to orphans (whether through adopting themselves, assisting others to adopt, or through mission trips to orphanages around the world)."

Since receiving his comment, I've regularly read his Carolina Hope blog and have been very encouraged by the thoughtful and challenging posts Dan offers on the topic of adoption--both spiritual and physical. I hope you'll take some time to read his blog, I'm fairly confident most Christians haven't thought this deeply or thoroughly on the matter of adoption.

Carolina Hope Christian Adoption Agency blog, "from hope to reality"

BTW, I'm NOT saying that I believe every Christian couple is called or equipped to adopt children. What I am saying is God does call ALL Christians to care for orphans--in various ways at various levels!

We Met Our Daughters Just Five Years Ago!

UPDATED to include day TWO of our first trip to Russia

Over at our adoption blog, Chosen Child, we're celebrating and reminiscing about meeting our daughters just five years ago! Please join us in giving God all of the glory!

Practicing Theology - Mother's Day and barrenness

Update (05/09/07): Imagine my delight (and surprise!) to see that Girl Talk has posted THIS today titled "Infertility and Mother's Day"! I'm always delighted to see other Xian women addressing this topic and encouraging their sisters in the midst of this trial--may God receive all the glory!

This Mother's Day will be only my fifth one as a mother. While I will do as I have always done, I will honor my own mother and remind her how much she is loved and how much I appreciate everything she has done and sacrificed for me, I will also reflect on nineteen earlier Mother's Days when I approached the holiday with much caution and often avoidance.

Please don't jump to the conclusion that I took every opportunity for a "pity-party" while I was childless--I didn't. God kindly granted me the grace to attend and enjoy just about every baby shower I've ever been invited to attend! He also gave me the grace to assist a dear friend during the early hours of labor with her first child--after two miscarriages. So, it is clear to those who know me that while my own heart ached for children, I was not avoiding or "punishing" others who the Lord had graciously and sovereignly blessed.

No, I approach this holiday with caution because of the unwitting pain we in the Church sometimes cause our barren sisters-in-Christ. In many churches this Sunday there will be a literal parade of mothers, grandmothers, great-grandmothers, and maybe even great-great-grandmothers. And as obedient and loving Xians we will welcome these people--some of whom rarely attend a house of worship--and proceed to hold them up before the congregation. They'll be asked to stand, or asked how far away they live, how many children they have, how many grandchildren they have, who has the largest family with them, etc.

And if you watch carefully in the pews, you're likely to see at least one, maybe two or three young, and some "not so young", women wipe a tear or two from the corner of her eye--maybe even get up and leave the sanctuary for a brief time. Her husband will likely remain seated--knowing that she'll regain her composure soon and return, but he's found that he's all but helpless during times like these. She'll put on a brave face and cling to God's promises to be her all in all, and she'll remind herself of His complete sovereignty, and how His plans are for her good, but the damage will have been done--the Body of Christ has unwittingly wounded a fellow-believer.

I hope you won't think I'm being harsh or overly dramatic. Although I am no longer childless, I am still very much barren--according to God's sovereign will, for His good purpose--my heart still aches for fellow-sisters. Sisters who often suffer quietly while many around them are held in high honor for something that has come very "naturally" to them, but has been impossible to others--according to God's plan.

So, this Mother's Day, if you know of a childless couple in your congregation I encourage you to call them, send them an email, or talk to them face-to-face. Do as I've done since I'm no longer childless--I seek out the childless couples and ask them if Mother's Day and Father's Day are particularly difficult for them. If it is, I assure them of my prayers for God to work His perfect will in them as they wait on Him.

Sidenote: You may find THIS video to be of interest, it's called "Empty Arms". It doesn't appear to be written from a Xian perspective--no hope or trust in God's plan or purposes--but nonetheless very accurately expresses the emotions of many childless couples.

Theology 101 - Adoption

(Clarification: This post addresses the Biblical doctrine of spiritual adoption--not human adoption. While I'm a great advocate of human adoption, this post is in keeping with my "Theology 101" series covering various aspects of Biblical theology.)

I realize that while adoption is a very familiar concept in our family (for obvious reasons), it may be a very unfamiliar topic to many others. However, for the believer it should become a very familiar and beloved topic!

I've understood the concept of adoption since I was very young, my aunt and uncle adopted my cousin in the early 70's. I grew up knowing that my cousin was adopted and so did he--there was no "whispering" about him being adopted. But he had such a deep and healthy sense of being part of his family--truly belonging--that he came home from school one day eager to share about a lab experiment. That day during the lab, the class tested and identified blood types. After questioning his parents regarding their blood types, "J" was puzzled that his blood type did not follow theirs like it should. At that point my aunt gently reminded J. that his blood type did not follow the pattern because he was not born to my aunt and uncle. THAT is how deep the sense of belonging should be in our heavenly family! And, it is exactly how God has designed it to be. Consider what J. I. Packer has to say about the doctrine of Adoption:

"Paul teaches that the gift of justification (i.e., present acceptance by God as the world's Judge) brings with it the status of sonship by adoption (i.e., permanent intimacy with God as one's heavenly Father, Gal. 3:26; 4:4-7). In Paul's world, adoption was ordinarily of young adult males of good character to become heirs and maintain the family name of the childless rich. Paul, however, proclaims God's gracious adoption of persons of bad character to become "heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ" (Rom. 8:17).

Justification is the basic blessing, on which adoption is founded; adoption is the crowning blessing, to which justification clears the way. Adopted status belongs to all who receive Christ (John 1:12). The adopted status of believers means that in and through Christ God loves them as he loves his only-begotten Son and will share with them all the glory that is Christ's now (Rom. 8:17, 38-39). Here and now believers are under God's fatherly care and discipline (Matt. 6:26; Heb. 12:5-11) and are directed, especially by Jesus, to live their whole lives in light of the knowledge that God is their Father in heaven. They are to pray to him as such (Matt. 6:5-13), imitate him as such (Matt. 5:44-48; 6:12, 14-15; 18:21-35; Eph. 4:32-5:2), and trust him as such (Matt. 6:25-34), thus expressing the filial instinct that the Holy Spirit has implanted in them (Rom. 8:15-17; Gal. 4:6).

Adoption and regeneration accompany each other as two aspects of the salvation that Christ brings (John 1:12-13), but they are to be distinguished. Adoption is the bestowal of a relationship, while regeneration is the transformation of our moral nature. Yet the link is evident; God wants his children, whom he loves, to bear his character, and takes action accordingly. "

Isn't it interesting--and very telling--that God does not make it a practice in Scripture of frequently calling us "adopted children", "adopted son/daughter", but He primarily calls us "HIS children", "HIS son/daughter". The fact that we have been adopted is no secret, but our being adopted is not a matter that he focuses on--because He has MADE us His very own, we are no longer strangers!

This of course, is a facet of Biblical truth that has become very noticeable to me because I am an adoptive mom. I/we do not call our daughters, "our adopted daughters", we do not introduce them as such, because they ARE our daughters. We have set our affection upon them and they are entitled to everything that a biological child would be entitled to. The fact or principle is known, but instead of weakening or "qualifying" the relationship, it merely sets the stage for the relationship.

May you, by God's grace and mercy, rejoice in the fact that such a wonderful loving Father adopts us into His family--as His son or daughter!

Adoption blog updates - Life with Olga & Nina

I haven't been as faithful in posting on our ADOPTION BLOG as I'd like, but I have made two posts in recent weeks if you're interested!

Celebrating a milestone in our family

For those who might be interested, I've posted another part of our adoption story over at Chosen Child. Five years ago today we first heard about a young Russian girl named Olga--our Olga! News of our Nina didn't came until almost two months later--I'll be sharing that story in another post!

Our Adoption Story

Just wanted to let you know that I've been SLOWLY working on another blog, "Chosen Child", where I will post various chapters of our adoption story.

I'm a little surprised--but delighted--that people are still asking to hear our adoption story! Hard for me to believe that even though the "story continues", we brought our girls home a little over four years ago!

So, if you have any interest, please visit my other blog using the link provided at the right!